My Birthday..

Its my birthday in exactly 40 mins...


The plan honestly was to continue studying for my upcoming exam but I'm having a hard time focusing.
So I've decided to .... whats the word... reminisce this last couple of years, especially last year...

Normally, I'm uber excited about my birthday but now, not so much... I guess I'm getting older.. you know reaching that age of accountablilty.

I just keep thinking about what has happened and what my next goal is and honestly my general outlook on life..

I am beyond NERVOUS for this upcoming stage in my life like it could actually be considered being excessively scared.
I don't know what to think, what to do... Im genuinely not prepared for this new year... mentally , physically, emotionally...
My life ... has been alot of tears and there's been alot of breakdowns

I'm not ready.

I want to re-do this last year but even if I did, I dont know exactly what I would change that would make everything right or perfect.

I'm very paranoid and ..... my emotions are just overheated these days... sometimes I think I'm pregnant... (I'm not ooh!)

All in alll... I am thankful...
I cannot count how many stages God has literally carried me... and I knew.
Even with all the nights I went to bed crying and woke up in tears (I didnt think that was possible till I experienced it ) , I just knew there was someone who was there... He was always watching and has been my ultimate rock...

I did not want to celebrate my birthday.

Not because I'm not thankful, but mostly because I just didn't feel like it.... This year had nothing to be excited or "jumpy" about...

Sigh..
I'm honestly tired of growing up... and I haven't even started....

If there is anything I want more this upcoming year than ever is really God's Favour and Mercy... I think that is all I could really ask for..

His Favour and Mercy.. Thats it.

In 10 mins, I am going to close this chapter and start a new one... This has been the hardest chapter of them all and I hope it stays that way for a really long time...

New Beginnings, New Blessings and by the Grace of God, New Joys....

Hi, My name is LadyT and I turned a year older on June 2nd 2013...

Midnight Inspirations: Kerry Washington

Last night, I spent at least 3 hours watching videos about this phenomenal women... I wanted to know who she was, and what she stood for.  I have grown to respect her.. From my 3 hrs. Here's some reasons why

1. She's a smarty. She has a phd and she finished her undergraduate studies with honours, on scholarship and created a new type of minor by the time she graduated( paved a path) 

2. She's a hard worker. She BALANCED Her life. Between school and the requirements for her scholarship 

3. I watched one of her acceptance speeches and it was actually a speech not one of those "omg! I didn't think I'd get this award"

4. She has a terrible laugh. Just like me 😊

5. She is a leader. Even though she seemed super humble  but when she was with the scandal cast you could tell that she was the team captain.  And the biggest thing is she wasn't the oldest on set but she was still the path setter. 

After watching a gazillion videos, I learnt that 

1. Quirky laughs make other people laugh

2. I learnt that in life I am writing my own story and no one else's. I must learn to Live my way and not through anyone else

3. Leading is GOOD. I've always had a love hate with leading. Not really a big fan but Kerry proved to me that leaders are shakers and changers. They infect and affect everyone around them young and old. I want to be a shaker and therefore I must be ready to lead. 

4. Being prepared isn't a bad thing. It's better to be prepared than unprepared. She didn't settle for mediocrity by giving the usual lame excuse but she set a standard! :)

5. It's good to be smart. Forget about the rumors of the successful dropouts. If you actually look at THIER stories you would understand that they were highly intelligent dropouts some even smarter than THIER profs. 

To me Kerry Washington made it cool to have a phd. And to be a graduate with honours. Not a lot of people inspire the youth in that way anymore. I want my last few yrs in UNI to be all about the smarts and maybe one day when I'm super smart I can change the world in my own little way like Kerry did. :)